B Gilmore Counselling
Victoria region, Vancouver Island BC
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Being Part of the Plan

Posted on 9 February, 2017 at 18:55
Being Part of the 'Plan' Have you ever been asked to be part of someone's personal plan? I have! And it always feels like a combination of honour because they asked me instead of someone else, and deep responsibility because they are counting on me to support them and immediately, directly help them through a crisis. Many people have a 'plan' of what to do when the stability of their physical, emotional or mental health deteriorates and they have lost personal control. They are faced with an acute crisis, panic attack, or absolute absorption of illness symptoms that could have dire consequences if left alone. They create the plan when they are well and in full control and can make personal decisions of who the people should be that take over when they cannot look after themselves. How do they decide? What kind of attributes does the chosen helper have? Well, think about if it was you? It depends on the details doesn't it? For example if you have children, the plan will need to include one or two people that can immediately care for them. Someone living close by that they trust. If you live alone and have pets, plants and responsibilities to your neighbours, who could best take on that task? What about your closest friends knowing the best way to manage a panic attack that takes you all by surprise? And financial matters? Who could quickly take that on? Is there someone at work that could look after your responsibilities? Now...what don't you want? Maybe past experiences have determined that you definitely do not need or want an ambulance, or a specific medication, or two particular doctors at one specific hospital. Perhaps not your older brother because he would not be trusted to follow-through the way you are intending, and if you had to call the police there is just one officer to ask for. The list of questions goes on and on. But who takes over the most important things in your life; your personal wellbeing; and with careful consideration? There are words that jump right out: trustful, respectful, and dependable to name a few. These qualities are what I think of when someone asks me to be part of their 'plan'. Now think again about being asked to be part of someone's 'plan'. If you need some time to decide if you should or should not agree, remember you have it. It took them a long time to decide who is going to be a helper when the time comes. They asked themselves a number of detailed questions and you in turn should ask them about those details before you say yes. My reasons to write my thoughts on this are directed toward the importance of this moment. To absolutely feel honoured they asked you and to truly feel responsible to fulfill the details of the plan the way they intended. It is about you valuing each other and the personal right to make this decision to include you, trust you, and depend on you when they are in a crisis. Think about being included. Barbara Gilmore RPC WRAP facilitator

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